Next Time You Swim in a New Jersey River, Wear Kevlar Underpants!!

Next time you swim in a New Jersey River, Wear Kevlar Underpants!!

 

 

The Amazon native fish, Pacu, which sometimes mistakes human genitals for their favorite snack food of tree nuts, has been found swimming in the Passaic Park, 15 miles from New York City. 

 

-New York Daily News

 

Just when you thought things couldn't get any weirder in New Jersey, enter the Pacu, a native fish of the Amazon River has been caught in New Jersey rivers.

 

A 77 year old retired bus driver named Tom Boylan was shocked when he hooked one of these exotic fish on his line at the Third Ward Memorial Park in Passiac, NJ earlier this summer.

 

Local officials believe it was a local resident's pet that grew too large for it's tank and was released into the wild.  These fish are known as "Tank Busters" by fish enthusiasts because they grow very large, very quickly.  A small gold fish size Pacu can grow to be 55 lbs.

 

The biggest terror of this situation is that this breed of fish, which is related to the Piranha, is known to eat human testicles, thinking their actually tree nuts.

 

Recently, two men in New Guinea had they're testicles eaten off by Pacu fish while swimming in a local river.  Kinda makes you miss New Jersey doesn't it?

 

So, in closing, nest time you go swimming in New Jersey, make sure to wear a cup, or Kevlar underpants, and hope for the best.